


The Test

by AbbyO317



Series: The Blue-eyed Beauty [2]
Category: Love Island (Video Game)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:53:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26913199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbbyO317/pseuds/AbbyO317
Summary: Everyone has to take tests in their lifetime, but the one Bobby McKenzie is about to take will change his perception of life and everything in it.He has no idea he is walking into the test of love, friendship and testing his mind to see how he tries to solve the problems being thrown at him.Will he pass? Or will he fail?What if he had made all of the right decisions from the start?If he succeeds and passes, then that means he will have made it through the two months of living in the villa. And if he fails, it’s game over.
Relationships: Bobby McKenzie & Main Character (Love Island), Main Character/Bobby McKenzie
Series: The Blue-eyed Beauty [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1993492
Comments: 15
Kudos: 16





	1. What if I didn’t choke her?

**Author's Note:**

> Please read My Everything (up to chapter five) before reading this so it makes sense
> 
> We start this story on day two: Evening, around 8pm.
> 
> Scene one setting: The kitchen.

The heat bubbled the blood in my veins all the way through my system as Hope left the kitchen. Veronica stood there, in front of me, in complete silence.

“Care to tell me what the fuck is going on!?”

“Bobby, babe..” She sniffled. “Please calm down.”

_Calm down? Wow_

“How can I calm down when I’m just after finding out you fancy Noah?!”

The heat rose further in my bloodstream all the way around my body, boiling to the point of pain. I frowned.

“Baby, please. Calm down.”

_‘Calm down’ she says_

_What am I?_

_A child?_

_Does she think she can order me around like that?_

“Have you kissed him!?” I hissed.

I took a step closer to her and I darkened my expression by frowning even more. Pure rage rushed through me and I could see the genuine fear in her eyes.

She backed off a little but I grabbed one of her wrists to keep her in place. She flinched in my grip and didn’t look directly at me.

_What’s going on? This happened when the girls grabbed her wrists too_

_And I swear if she kissed Noah... She’s_ **_dead_ **

I swung my fist towards her stomach but I stopped myself just in time. If I had gone any further I would have been kicked out, for sure.

I turned my back to her and splashed my face with freezing cold water from the faucet. I then dried my face in one of the towels and I shook my whole body out before looking at her again.

The look of relief on her face was enough to make me realise; everything I ever did to her was wrong.

Breaking up with her was wrong. Hitting her was wrong. Insulting her was wrong. Everything I did… was just **_wrong_**.

She didn’t answer, so I asked again, raising my voice slightly. “I asked; Did you kiss him?”

“No. I didn’t.” She said, and because she looked so scared it sounded like a lie, to me anyway.

“I **_saw_** you!”

“You… you did?” She asked. Her voice shook more than a newborn foal's legs when they took their first steps.

“I can’t believe you right now. Why would you think that’s okay?!”

_Do not fly off the rails. Do not fly off the rails. Do not fly off the rails._

_If you, do you fail_

_Fail what?_

“I’m sorry babe… it’s just you’re coupled up with Priya and that upset me.”

“So you thought it was a good idea to kiss Noah? Think about Hope’s feelings! How is she going to react to this? And me! _Think about my feelings too!_ ” I shot back but noticed tears starting to well in her eyes.

_Why the fuck is she crying?_

_I’m meant to stay calm. Do not fly off the rails_

“I’m s-so s-s-sorry.” She said while wiping her tears away.

_Man this is so hard_

_It’s so hard to not make her cry_

“Oh you’re _sorry_ are you?!” I hissed. “You’re _sooo sorry_ that you kissed a lad that you so _clearly_ fancy more and you’re not even acknowledging my feelings or

or anything!”

_Do not fly off the rails_

_If you do, you fail_

_Fail what? Why do I keep saying I’m going to fail something?_

I took a long breath in, filling my lungs with the coconut misted air and breathing out deeply to calm myself down.

“Right. Let me get one thing clear. You kissed Noah.”

“I did and I’m sorry. I regret it.”

_Does she, though?_

“And you didn’t acknowledge mine or Hope’s feelings. You didn’t think about how we would feel. Hope’s probably devastated right now and ripping Noah to shreds.”

_Which I would do the same to you but I’m trying to not be that kind of guy anymore_

“I should have done that. Would you ever be able to forgive me?”

_Make the right choice_

_If you say yes you’re lying_

_If you say no, that’s not good_

_How can I make a good choice then?_

_Whats with the ‘Making choices’?_

“Let me sleep on it and we’ll see. For now… I can _probably_ move that aside.” 

_So that I can kiss her_

“I’ll never kiss anyone else in the villa again except you, Bee. I promise.” She said.

_Unless it’s for a challenge_

She was stood barely an inch away from me now and sparks flew from my body to hers and back again.

I looked around the room and a smile formed on my face without my permission. 

She was always so loyal to me, even when I wasn’t loyal to her that one time. But she doesn’t know about that, or _need_ to know about that.

“Good.” I said. “We should probably get ready for bed now. Goodnight Vee.”

“Goodnight Bee.”

I gave her a peck on the cheek before I left the room. If I stayed in the kitchen any longer I would have more than likely done something I would regret.

_I still have to apologise to her though. And she has to apologise to me. Properly._

I changed into my cupcake pyjama bottoms and I was about to brush my teeth when a cold arm coiled around my waist tightly.

“Hey _babe_.” Priya said.

_Ugh please leave me alone. I don’t want to “talk with you” if that’s what you’re going to ask_

_I wonder what would happen if I made the wrong choice with another girl..._

“Hi, Priya.”

_That’s all she’s getting from me_

_I am_ **_not_ ** _calling her ‘babe’_

“You ready for bed?”

“No, not yet. I need to brush my teeth and wash my face.” I said.

“Okay. I’ll be waiting in the bedroom for you.” She said in a- I think it was meant to be a flirty way but it came across as an; ‘I’ll be waiting to get into your pants to make Veronica jealous’ kind of way.

Priya left the room and then, a few seconds later, another finger tapped on my shoulder twice. I turned around and it was Veronica.

“Damn, you look _hot_ in pyjamas.” She said, and her eyes travelled over every inch of my skin.

“Hey Lass, I’m sorry for what happened earlier. And thank you.”

She didn’t reply but she nodded, acknowledging what I had said.

_Apology time_

“I am _so, so sorry_ for what I did outside. I didn’t mean to do that. I just saw red when you said you had a chat with Noah. It was just built up anger from life at home and also jealousy.” I said, stumbling through my words as I tried to get my apology out to her.

And then I made a really bold move when I took her hands in mine.

“I’m sorry for _everything_ I have _ever_ done to you.” I added.

She pushed my arms back slowly so I let go of her hands, and she squeezed her arms around my waist while resting her head on my chest.

“I’m sorry for kissing Noah. And I’m really sorry for making you really angry.”

_I really really want to kiss her_

_I hope she does too_

“You have forgotten about treating me like a princess too,” she said.

_Oh shit. I did forget_

“I know, and I am _so_ sorry.”

She scratched her nails lightly up and down my back and she looked up into my eyes. Those plunging pools of ice water drew me in, in such a way that I got lost in her eyes...

I couldn’t tell if I was smiling or not since I was so deep in a trance, but she was smiling back at me.

“I can treat you in _any way you want me to_.” Was what I said to her when we broke eye contact for a split second.

“ _Any_ way?”

_That’s what I just said!_

I gave her a little smile and I slowly backed her up against the wall. 

_Now is my chance to kiss her_

“Kiss me.” I murmured while I trailed one of my hands down to her lower back. My other gently ran through her hair.

I made a trail of kisses along her neck and I began to suck hard on the skin just below her jawline.

She used to love this and I hoped she still did. And I have _now_ come to the conclusion that she does still like it. A lot.

She took my face in both of her hands and pressed a long, drawn out kiss to my lips which took me by surprise.

I kissed her back like it was my last time to ever kiss her. Because I thought we’d drift far apart and never see each other again.

Priya stole me from her this morning and we drifted even further away from one another. And she had whatever it is going on with Noah too...

Her tongue slipped into my mouth almost immediately and I pressed her harder against the wall. Is he started to slide up the surface a little so I grounded her by securing an arm tightly around her waist.

I wrapped both of my arms around her and hoisted her up to my waist so our most intimate parts were nearly touching.

“I could kiss those lips of yours all day, Vee.” I said as I carried her over to the countertop and placed her down gently, which was slightly out of my comfort zone since I’m used to doing everything with aggression and I slam things down all the time.

But I wanted to treat her like the princess she was.

She had always told me I had the magic touch and I completely forgot what I had _almost_ done until I pulled away and began to passionately kiss her neck while caressing her thighs slowly.

And then I remembered. I was going to choke her, until near death. I couldn’t even comprehend what was going on in my mind when that was happening but if I had gone ahead with it… everyone would hate me forever, and I’d be kicked out of the villa too, of course.

I bit down hard on her neck and sucked the skin into my mouth as she whispered my name over and over again to me.

_Now **that’s** what I like to hear_

I was now satisfied with the mark I had left on her neck so I moved onto her lips and tried to get as close to her as I possibly could.

“What would everyone say if they saw us right now?” She asked quietly.

“Fuck what anyone else says. It’s just you and me right now.” I muttered into her neck, sending the vibrations from my voice all over her body.

I walked my fingers under the fabric of her dress and rested my hand between her legs. I was pleasantly surprised when she didn’t stop me.

“What would you like me to do now, Princess?” I whispered into her ear, and I felt the goosebumps prickle up on her skin.

“Don’t stop what you’re doing.”

And I didn’t stop what I was doing. A rush of pleasure roamed through my body as I pressed my thumb against her opening and my fingers slipped through her soaking folds.

_Jesus, Mary, Mother of God_

I started off with two fingers pushing deep inside of her, waiting impatiently to add another one.

“More.” She moaned.

_More? Thought you’d never ask._

Her lips crashed against mine and she dug her nails into my back as I added a third finger.

She arched her back and pulled me closer to her while she dug her nails harder into my back and began to scratch down my spine, tickling the scar.

I began to pull out my fingers and push them back in at the speed I usually did it at, which was always too quick for her but she loved it.

I saw her bite down so hard on her lip it looked like it was about to bleed, so I slowed down, which I could tell that irritated her a little.

_Now I have to wait another minute or so for the fourth_

_Woah slow down lad, four is too many_

_No it’s not_

_It is_

_No it’s not_

_Yes. It. Is._

_It_ **_is_ ** _too many for her to take. Three is even too many_

_Why am I having an argument with myself? Must mean the drugs are fully wearing off_

“Let me take my dress off.” She said quietly while trying to hold in another moan.

I pulled my fingers out of her opening so she could get down. And then I did something very stupid, I sucked her wetness off my fingers while she gazed at me.

It may not sound that stupid but it’s something I’ve never really done so it was a bit odd. She tasted heavenly though, and I was on cloud nine.

_Oh my god this is **so good**_

She hopped off the counter for a second as she slipped her dress over her head, so she was naked in front of me. I hadn’t seen her like this in a long time. And that got me excited.

I lifted her back up onto the counter and she kissed me again. She pulled on the strings on my pyjama bottoms but we were rudely interrupted when the door swung open and a shocked Priya stood in the doorway.

“Guys we heard a commotion in... the... kitchen. Oh...” She trailed off.

_Oh no_

Veronica and I looked at her, then back at each other. I covered as much of her exposed skin as I could with my hands so Priya couldn’t see her in what seemed like a split second, but it felt like an eternity of complete silence.

“We’re sort of in the… middle of something.” I said, awkwardly.

“ _I can see that._ I just wanted to say that _our_ bed is getting cold without you.”

And then she winked at me.

 _She_ **_had_ ** _to say that. Didn’t she?_

“Sorry Priya but _‘your’_ man might be a while getting into _your_ bed. He’s sleeping with me tonight.”

_I am?_

_Woohoo!_

Priya huffed and slammed the door behind her.

I turned back to look at Veronica and she was trying her hardest to hold a laugh in.

“Babe, stop. This is meant to be an intimate moment!” I whined.

“But it’s just so funny that she thinks she can steal you away from me!” She laughed.

 _That’s just_ **_not_ ** _funny though_

“We should probably get ready for bed now, Lass.”

“Yeah we should. And it’s okay, you can sleep in a bed with Priya tonight.”

_Not a chance_

“No.” I said and shook my head.

A smile broke on her face and she gave me a hug. “Yay! Cuddles tonight!”

_Awwwh, so cute_

She slipped her dress back on and I watched her skip out of the room.

_Why was I even in here in the first place?_

_Oh. To brush my teeth_

I squeezed some toothpaste onto my toothbrush and scrubbed at my teeth for two minutes, then I rinsed my mouth out with water and brought my brush with me back into the dressing room.

Noah was in there, alone, with his back to me. He had his head in his hands and he looked guilty of something. 

_Probably the kiss_ I thought.

“Hey mate, are you okay?” I asked which startled him.

“Oh, hey Bobs.”

“Trouble in paradise with your lassie?”

“Um…”

“I know you and Veronica kissed. And that made me very angry. I almost lost it at her and I can’t forgive either of you _fully,_ yet .”

“I’m sorry. I really am. _”_ He said.

_No_

_You’re not sorry at all_

“Anyway… goodnight.” I said and left the room.

I entered the bedroom and into an argument.

_Another argument. Woohoo! Not_

Priya and Veronica were the dominant ones in the argument and they each had a girl to back them up. 

Hope was on Veronica’s side, as she should be. And Marisol was on Priya’s for some reason.

Gary was playing the peacemaker of the situation while Hannah, Rahim, Rocco and Lottie were sound asleep.

_I thought Lottie would be in this argument. She seems like the type to make drama out of nothing._

Everyone went silent as I cleared my throat to indicate that I was present.

“Hey babe! Come here.” Priya said and waved me over.

_Babe? Pff_

_No chance_

I looked towards Veronica who stayed silent as she climbed under the covers and hid her whole body underneath them.

_Bless her_

I headed towards Veroni- _our_ bed, and much to Priya’s disappointment I slid in next to her.

“Daybeds?” I asked Veronica quietly and I barely saw her nodding, but thank God I did.

She let out a soft yawn and said; “Can we cuddle?”

“If we go out to the daybeds, we can. _People_ are annoyed at us right now.”

_And by “people” I mean Priya_

She outstretched her arms upwards and I lifted her out of the bed. She clung onto me like a koala and she was so warm.

_I really needed this heat, I’m freezing_

I carried my half-asleep princess out to the daybeds and lay her down.

_A princess must be treated like the only girl in the world_

I lay down next to her and threw the covers over the both of us.

“Can I be the big spoon?” She asked.

_I wanted to be the big spoon_

“Um… sure babe.”

“Actually, nah. Cuddle me instead.”

She turned over and I cocooned my arms around her. Her chest rose and fell at the same time as mine and I eventually closed my eyes.

“Goodnight Bee.” She said, sleepily.

“Night, Lass.”

_I Lo- wait WHAT?!_

_Did I just…_

_Oh my god_

_It’s day_ **_two_ ** _. Not day forty or something. I can’t be thinking that... yet_


	2. Une Petite Déjeuner “Romantique”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today’s task is to not mess up the date
> 
> If he fails, it’s game over.

I slept in for most of the afternoon. It was probably around 2pm.

I was woken up by ten fingernails lightly scratching up and down my back. The person, who I hoped was Veronica, sat down next to me and got up just as quickly.

The same person sat down on the other side of me so if I were to open my eyes I could see them. My eyes fluttered a little when a small hand brushed over the side of my face.

“Babe it’s time to get up.” Veronica whispered.

_ Thank god it’s her and not one of the other girls _

“Five more minutes.”

“No Bee! Get up! I’ve been so bored without you!” She whined and began to bounce up and down on the bed.

I opened my eyes slowly so they could adjust to the light. I saw the most beautiful girl in the world sitting on the bed in front of me and she smiled when she noticed I opened my eyes.

“Bee! You’re awake!”

“Mornin’, Vee. What time is it?”

“I have no idea. No clocks here, remember?”

_ Oh, right _

_ No ticking or digital clocks _

_ Thank god _

“What about the phones?” I asked.

Her phone beeped.

“Who got a text? I got a text!” She squealed.

The others gathered around the daybed and teased me for sleeping in.

“Islanders, today we will be holding the first recoupling! And it's the boys’ choice. Get grafting, ladies! Hashtag ladies choice.”

Everyone whooped and cheered.

_ What happens to the single girl? _

I pulled back the covers and got out of the bed. Veronica and I headed to the kitchen where she had breakfast made for both of us. Spaghetti hoops on toast. My favourite.

_ She still knows me so well  _

“Oh my goodness! Babe this is so nice of you.” I gushed.

“I found a tin in the back of the cupboard.”

“You’re the best!”

We brought our plates over to the breakfast island on the lawn near the pool. We sat across from each other but she hopped off her stool quickly and bolted into the kitchen.

She came back with two glasses and a carton of orange juice. 

“I forgot this!” She panted and poured out two glasses before putting the juice back in the fridge.

“Why did you do all this, Lass?” I asked.

“I just thought it would be nice to have a brunch date.”

_ She is the most adorable human being in the world _

“That’s a great idea.”

We settled down and ate our toast in a comfortable silence while she kicked me under the table.

“Stop!” I laughed. “I’m trying to eat!”

I kicked her back and she nearly fell off the stool.

_ You nearly failed _

_ Failed  _ **_what_ ** _? _

“All is fair in love and war, my friend.” She said and tapped her nose.

_ Friend? Have I been friendzoned _

_ I failed _

“I’m joking babe. I’ll stop kicking you.” She said.

A minute later while we were still chatting she began to run her toes up and down my leg sending a shiver down my spine.

I had finished my toast so I began to do it back to her and she laughed.

“I thought we were stopping?”

“Nah, I like spending time with you.” She said.

_ Get in mate! _

“Likewise.”

I took my hands in hers and gave them a gentle squeeze.

-

“I got a text!” We heard from a distance.

“So much for having a date then.” She sighed and she looked away from me.

I squeezed her hands again and left kisses on her knuckles to reassure her.

“I still had a good time. You know? Me. You. Alone. That kind of thing.” I said.

She smiled at me, and even though it wasn’t a genuine one I could tell I lifted her spirits slightly.

**Islanders, today you will take part in a challenge! It’s a game of hide and seek. Girls you must gather in the living room while the boys hide.**

_ Hide and seek? What are we? Children? _

I ran as fast as I could up the stairs and hopped into a wardrobe. It was Veronica’s, and I knew that because I saw;

_ That’s where my shirt went! _

As soon as I got in, I froze and stayed quiet. And I waited.

...And waited.

...And waited.

But no one found me. Until...

The door to the dressing room opened and I could see through a little crack that Vee came in alone.

“Ooooh!” She shouted and began dancing around the room like a ghost.

_ That’s  _ **_too_ ** _ cute _

She pulled out her phone and began typing something. 

My phone dinged.

“I knew he was in here!”

She pulled the door open and I fell out of the wardrobe on top of her.

“Hey T-shirt stealer.”

“T-shirt stealer?” She asked.

_ “I can see my shirt in your wardrobe! _ ” I laughed.

I helped her up off the ground after I had gotten up and we made our way back to the others on the lawn.

It had now gotten a lot darker outside but the sun hadn’t set yet.

“I found him!” She announced and held up my hand.

“It’s about time.” 

We all stood around for a few minutes not knowing what to do until my phone beeped.

“My first one! Guys! I got a text!”

**Islanders, tonight there will be a recoupling in which the boys will choose which girl they would like to couple up with. The girl not chosen is** **_at risk_ ** **of being dumped from the island #Decisions #Goodbyes**

_ Oh no _

_Someone’s going home_

“Why did they only send the message now instead of this morning?” Veronica asked.

“I have no idea, but you’re stuck with me anyway.”

She took my hand and began to swing her arm back and forth.

“I know, and that’s a good thing.”

_ I hope no one else picks her, and by “no one else” I mean Noah... _

-His new task has been complete. Next time; his task will be something  **_very_ ** important. Picking the right girl (for him) at the recoupling-


	3. Three Bottles of Tequila on the Wall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three bottles of tequila on the wall, three bottles of tequila. 
> 
> Take one down, pass it around, two bottles of tequila on the wall...
> 
> Two bottles of tequila- I’m sorry...
> 
> No more bottles of tequila on the wall, no more bottles of tequila.
> 
> We've taken them down and passed them around; No more bottles of tequila on the wall!

I fiddled around with the buttons on my shirt, trying to close them.

I wasn’t used to wearing white shirts but tonight, I wanted to do something different.

I wanted Veronica to see that I have changed, not just mentally, but with what I wear and what I smell like. So I bought a bottle of cologne before heading to the villa, and I’m going to use it every day.

I pulled on a pair of black jeans and matched my white shirt with my white runners.

“You look smart.” Gary said.

“Yeah Bobs, you look great!” Rahim added.

“Don't I look great **_all_** the time?” I laughed.

Laughing is my coping mechanism for dealing with anything, and always has been. Even when I was a child.

When I was younger I learned to laugh and be “happy” about pretty much everything. Zayne and Laine taught me to.

When Zayne hit me I had to smile. When Laine put her cigarettes out on my skin I had to smile. When I cried, I had to hide my tears, and smile.

It got to a point where I was so low in my life, I was going to do something that I am now so happy that I didn’t go ahead with.

I was lower than low. I felt like I had no purpose in life. 

That was until I met Veronica.

She made me feel loved, she cared for me. She always knew when I was sad and she was the most loving human being in my life.

And then it all came crashing downhill when I began to drink a lot again, and I soon became addicted to alcohol. 

I was used to getting cigarettes put out on by my mother that I thought it was okay to do the same to Veronica.

I thought getting hit and threatened was normal since my “dad” who was never really a dad to me, did this multiple times every single day. So I did it to Veronica, thinking it was okay.

I always left her to clean up after every meal that _she_ would cook. I would never do _anything_ to help her. Ever.

I never cooked, or cleaned, or washed our clothes. All I did was drink, smoke, watch the television, drink more, eat, hit her when I got angry, sleep, and all of that again the next day.

I had major anger issues. I still have them, but they aren’t as bad as they used to be. And that’s good, for everyone.

I learned to prevent my anger in a way which I _never in a million years_ would have thought would work: baking.

Making baked goods like cupcakes and bread helped calm me down, especially while playing music in the background.

I started baking around a year ago and I’ve loved it ever since.

However, I had never succeeded in controlling my anger, but I hoped I could in the future. The only thing that had worked at the time was splashing my face with water, and even then that only controlled it for a second.

Someone in the kitchen caught my eye. It was Veronica, of course. 

She was standing in the kitchen, in all her beauty, chatting to Hannah about something.

Her black cutout dress showed off her body and I loved her confidence; she rocked it. Her hair was straightened to perfection and I wanted to run my fingers through it.

And her heels. They made her slightly taller, but not tall enough so I could kiss her forehead without having to bend down to do so.

She took Hannah’s hands in hers and said something to her before giving her a long hug.

Over Hannah’s shoulder she looked towards where I was standing with Gary and Rocco. A smile crept onto her face and then she looked away.

_That’s so sweet_

She let go of Hannah’s embrace and they made their way towards us. 

“You look… different.” She said.

 _What’s_ **_that_ ** _supposed to mean_

“Good different, or bad different?”

“You look _good._ ” She said and looked me up and down. “And I’m not saying you _don’t_ always look good, it’s just today… damn.”

“It’s all for you, Lass.”

It is all for her. I want to show her that I have changed.

And this is the first step in becoming a better man.

_The devil is still lurking inside of me_

_But I’ll do my best to hide it_

She wrapped her arms tightly around my waist and gave me a hug. She looked up at me and puckered her lips, so I kissed her.

When I pulled away from her, I gazed into her eyes full of pain. She was doing a very good job at hiding it though. 

_What would make her happy?_

_I don’t know anymore_

I gave her a comforting smile and booped her nose.

“Boop!”

 _Would_ **_that_ ** _work?_

“Aww babe, you’re adorable!” She gushed.

_Am I though?_

_Am I_ **_really_ ** _?_

_I’m honestly not. I abused you for crying out loud_

The feeling of her being close to me brought me back to the first time I ever met her. Outside the bar in Glasgow, when I had her in my arms out in the rain. And when I held her against the wall and I kissed her.

I felt that ‘instant connection’ with her from the beginning, but slowly that faded away and my anger dominated the relationship.

I was brought back to reality a few moments later and kissed her forehead.

_How have I -sort of- gotten her back?_

_But not really, this could all change soon_

**Ten minutes later**

I found Lottie in the kitchen who was carefully pouring out little plastic cups of tequila, making sure there was the same amount of alcohol in each. This could only mean one thing.

Fucking beer pong.

“Hey Lozza, whatcha up to?”

“Lucas and Henrik need to be welcomed **_my_ ** _way_ , with a game of beer pong.”

_Knew it_

“Do you need any help?”

She handed me the bottle of tequila.

“Pour out the shots, I’ll get the others.”

_Uh oh_

_Don’t drink it all on your own_

_There’s only a tiny drop left in the bottle though_

_It’s half of the bottle!_

_It’s a tiny drop!_

“What harm could half a bottle do anyway?” I asked myself as I began to drink straight from the bottle.

_It tastes horrible but I don’t care_

_I missed drinking_

I had drunk almost all of what was in the bottle and slammed it down on the counter.

_I need more_

I bent down and opened every cupboard in the kitchen.

_Fridge_

_It’s in the fridge_

**_I should know this_**

_I should know where alcohol is stored_

I opened the fridge and my mouth watered at the sight of two more bottles of tequila sitting in the fridge.

_This is going down in two seconds_

I had now become the old me again.

The taste of earthy tones mixed with a semi-sweet, fruity flavouring splashed onto my taste buds and swirled down my throat like water down a drain.

“Bobby! What are you doing? I told you to pour the drink into the cups and **not** into your mouth!” Lottie screeched as she came storming towards the kitchen.

_“Oi stop shouting at me! Why is it your business what I do anyway!?”_

That was a bit hypocritical since I was the one shouting too.

She glared at me and snatched the bottle from my grip.

“What are you doing?”

“What?”

“Wha’ are… are y-y-you doing?” I asked, slower.

“I can’t understand you. You’re slurring your words.

 _I am_ **_not_ ** _slurring my words_

_Am I?_

“S… sorry.”

_I’m not sorry_

_At all_

Part of me was shocked to see Veronica walk into the room, even though I knew she was living here.

“Is everything okay?” She asked.

_Damn, I wanna fuck her_

**_Snap out of it Bobby_ ** _, she’s meant to think you’re_ **_not_ ** _semi-drunk_

“Hey baby.” I said.

_Since when do I call her that?_

She pulled Lottie to the side and asked her something.

“He’s fine.”

“He’s definitely not, I can’t even understand what he’s saying.”

“Neither can I, Vee. But sure what can we do?”

“He’s not _drunk_ is he?” She asked in a slightly angered tone.

_Uhhhh….. no?_

They were both distracted so I turned my back to them and finished the third large bottle of tequila that Lottie had foolishly put back down on the table.

“What’s with the bottles of tequila?” Veronica asked.

“We were _meant_ to be playing beer pong, but **_someone_ **drank all of the tequila.”

_Snitch_

_She’ll regret saying that_

“Bobby. Did you drink **_three_ ** _bottles of tequila_?”

“I did.” I said.

_Oh my good god shut up!_

She shooed Lottie away, leaving just us in the kitchen.

“Are you kidding me right now?! I thought you stopped!”

I rolled my eyes and did not look at her as I felt my vision go blurry.

_I missed this so much_

**_-He is now slowly failing the test-_ **

She grabbed my face and pulled it towards her so we were at eye level.

“I can’t believe you right now. Like I literally… I can’t.”

_Oh no_

_I’m losing her_

“I wasn’t thinking babe, and I’m sorry.”

“You’re _always_ sorry. But you never act on it! What happened to ‘I’m a changed man’ because from what I’ve seen, you haven’t changed at all.”

_The absolute cheek of her_

I felt my expression darken into a frown and I felt the temperature of my blood rising.

_Stay calm_

I think she noticed my mood changing but before she could do anything I reached boiling point.

I didn’t realise what I was doing but...

I looked her up and down and saw that she was leaning against the wall behind her. I lifted my arms up and pinned her shoulders firmly against the wall with my hands.

I leaned in close to her ear and hissed; “I _am_ a ch...anged man. I haven’t hit y- done anything bad... yet! And anyway, says th- the one who’s lying about her job!”

“How did you…?”

_I was just joking_

_She’s_ **_actually_ ** _lying about her job?_

_That could get her kicked out_

“I have my... ways.”

She frowned at me and tried to get out of my grip, but I wasn’t letting that happen.

I put more pressure onto her shoulders by leaning my body against hers. We were now millimeters apart but she didn’t look scared of me anymore.

When I used to do this, she would be in tears. Pleading me to let her go. But now, that’s all changed. She’s become stronger.

Her expression looked calm, and she gently stroked her fingertips up and down my arms, trying to calm me down.

_What the hell am I doing?_

I released my eyebrows from their frown and stared ahead, not wanting to look at her. But I still had her shoulders pinned to the wall.

“Look at me.” She said.

“ _No_.”

“Please?”

I could tell she was pouting and giving me the puppy eyes but I still wasn’t looking at her. My mind was telling me not to, but I wanted to.

I heard someone shout; “Recoupling is in an hour everybody!” Which startled me.

I shook my head at Veronica as I left the kitchen.

 _I know I_ **_should_ ** _pick her_

_But do I really want to?_

_I’m with Priya right now…_

_I don’t know_

_I_ **_really_ ** _don’t know what to do_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like the start of the downfall.
> 
> Let’s see if Bobby can get back on track in the next chapter


	4. Pick ‘n’ Mix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The task is to pick the right girl
> 
> If he fails, it’s game over.
> 
> Simple! Right?

This is what alcohol does to me. It makes me do things I would  _ never _ do while sober. For example, making shitty (but not so shitty) decisions.

~

We stood around the firepit waiting for the first text to go off.

It was quiet.  _ Too _ quiet.

“It’s great that th’ lads hae power fur a change. Am I right or am I right?”

No one answered which hurt my confidence a little, but I kept a smile plastered on my face.

Maybe it was because I was drunk. Maybe it was because no one liked me. Or  _ maybe  _ it was because someone was about to leave the villa...

I zoned out for a few minutes, up until my phone buzzed, causing me to jump in my seat.

“Looks-like-i’s-me-up-firs’-la’s” I slurred, finally being able to hear what I sounded like.

_ Ugh, God _

I tried to walk over to the area behind the firepit but every step I took made my legs wobble and I felt like I was on a tightrope.

_ Finally _

_ I’m here! _

“Ah wan’ tae couple up wi’ th’s lass ‘cause she’s  _ so _ hot. An’ she’s amazin’ ‘n’ all tha’.” I said in my drunken state.

“Nope. Stop the cameras!” One of the producers ordered.

_ Oh, what now? _

“It is in the rules that you are  _**not** _ allowed to get drunk in the premises of the villa. The maximum alcohol intake is two small glasses of  _ wine _ . Mr McKenzie, how much did you have to drink.”

_ Why are you singling me out like that? _

_ Also what would I do when I’m drunk that I wouldn’t do normally anyway? _

“Ah cannae remember.” I muttered.

_ Was it five? _

_ Ten? _

“Mr. McKenzie, you have broken one of our rules, meaning you are on a warning.”

_ Seriously? This isn’t school _

They were talking absolute nonsense so I didn’t bother saying anything back to them.

“Mr. Mc-“

“Tis Bobby.  _ Ca’ me Bobby! _ ” I shouted, which was unnecessary, but I didn’t know that at the time.

“Calm down, please.” The producer said.

“Why wid ah dae that? That juist mak's me seem lik' a wee bairn getting tellt whit tae dae”

And yes, I  _ did _ sound like a child.

“Oh my god, Bobby.” Veronica sighed and shook her head, while pinching the bridge of her nose.

So I got put in my place and was  _ treated _ like a child.

“Babe, please listen.”

“Naw! Why dae I need tae listen tae whit i’m bein' telt tae dae? They’re nae in charge o' me.” I said and she narrowed her eyes at me.

_ Why is she getting so annoyed at me? _

She clenched her fists at her sides and looked slightly more irritated as time passed.

She looked like she had had enough of me and stormed towards me. She grabbed me by the wrists and pulled me up off the bench.

“Whit urr ye daein'?” I asked.

“You need to learn how to listen to people. Go into the living room and sit in there until you learn to behave like a twenty seven year old.”

_ Is she… treating me like a child? _

“Why wid ah dae that?”

“Just... do what you’re told! Do you want me to get angry at you?!”

_ Calm down _

_ No need to get your knickers in a twist _

From an outsider’s perspective, Veronica was  _ probably _ making sense. But to me, it sounded like I was being treated like a child.

**Fifteen minutes later**

“Mate, you’re holding up the recoupling. Just go into the living room for a few minutes.  _ Please _ .” Gary said.

_ Ugh fine _

“Kin ye help me intae th' room, Lass?”

She rolled her eyes but let me wrap my arms around her.

She’s a lot stronger than she looks, and I found that out as she carried me into the living room.

I closed my eyes and began to drift off to sleep in her arms.

**30 minutes later**

I woke up with a jolt as I felt a pillow hit the back of my head. I felt Veronica scratching the nape of my neck with her fingernails which in my opinion was one of the best feelings in the world.

“Babe, wake up.” She said softly and pressed her soft lips to my temple.

“Is the recoupling over?”

“Not yet, love. Everybody is waiting for you to choose someone. Hopefully you choose me but after the rocky day we’ve had I’m not sure.” She said with a hint of sadness in her voice.

_ Have I been giving mixed signals? _

“You’re th' only lassie fur me, th' only lassie ah hae mah eye on. It's always bin ye. There’s na need tae worry.” I reassured her.

“I can barely understand you, but, thank you. The bits I understood were positive. I think.”

I realised I was still curled around her body like a koala so I let go of her, even though I  _ really  _ didn’t want to.

I got to my feet and my knees buckled.

_ Fuck’s sake _

“Let me help you.” She said soothingly and held onto me as we made our way back outside.

My eyes began to get heavier and heavier with each step, but I managed to keep them open.

As soon as I sat down, my phone beeped.

**BobBy, it is yOur turn To choose whiCH girl YoU wOuLd likE To coUplE up wiTH**

_ Why does it look like that? _

_ Am I still drunk? _

I rubbed my eyes and re-read the text. It was still the exact same, so it was either a typo, or else was still drunk.

“A'm waantin' tae tae up wi' this lassie fur she's th' only one a've git mah eye on. She lights up any room she walks intae, lik' th' sun. She's mah ray o' sunshine. Th' cherry on top o' a perfect cupcake. Th'... She's juist amazing.”

A smile broke on Veronica’s face and what I said became true, her smile lit up the night sky and her eyes were glistening in the moonlight.

“A’m waantin tae tae up wi’ mah bonny wee lassie. Veronica.”

_ Do I, though? _

_ Do I really? _

_ Or is this all just for her _

_ Like what  _ **_she_ ** _ wants, not necessarily what  _ **_I_ ** _ want _

“Babe!” She squealed and ran towards me.

_ Hot damn _

_ I knew there was a reason why I picked her _

“We need to talk later.” She whispered to me as we sat down. Well, she sat down and I fell onto the bench next to her in exhaustion.

_ Mental note:  _ **_never get drunk again_ **

_ Oh who am I kidding? I’m a raging alcoholic for Christ’s sake _

I felt my eyelids getting heavier and the world around me got darker.

_ What’s happening? _

Eventually my eyelids closed and I fell into a void of darkness also known as sleep.

When I’m asleep, I can still hear what goes on in the real world so I get information on people without their knowledge that I can bring up in the future to call them out.

Rocco chose Lottie, Noah stuck with Hope and Gary chose Marisol.

“... The girl I would like to couple up with is… Hannah.” Rahim said and the villa grew silent.

_ Hannah? _

_ What. The. Hell? _

“Oh my god. Priya…” Lottie sighed and gave her a sad smile.

I managed to open one of my eyes and saw Priya standing alone.

_ Is she going home? _

Her phone beeped and tears filled her eyes.

**Priya, as you can see you have not been chosen by any of the boys. However, we are going to give you another chance to find love here. So… get grafting! #Over-confidenceGetsYouNowhere #SecondChance**

“I’m... safe?!”

She breathed a sigh of relief and covered her face with her hands.

_ I really thought she was going home _

I ended up falling back asleep on the bench which was probably a bit rude but this is what alcohol does to me. I have two sides when it comes to alcohol;

Sleepy Bobby and Violent Bobby. Which would you prefer?

**Three hours later**

I woke up in bed still in my clothes. The lights were still on, and the only people I could see in the room were Veronica and Lottie.

_ How long was I out for? _

“...Like it was so rude! He could’ve waited until the end of the recoupling.” I heard Lottie whisper shout from the other side of the room.

“It was only Noah going next so it’s not like him picking Hope again was shocking.”

_ That’s true _

_ Wait, was this the first or second time I fell asleep? _

“I don’t care. Bobby was being  _ rude _ by falling asleep. Especially since he climbed on top of you and curled around you like a koala.”

“I thought that was cute!” Veronica said. “And now I’m gonna be the koala.”

I felt her brush up against me as she got into bed and she coiled her arms around me.

_ How do I pretend I’m asleep? _

_ Turn over maybe? _

_ And keep your eyes closed _

I began to turn over in the bed, and as I did she let go of me.

_ No no no I’m doing something wrong _

As soon as I was fully turned over to face her, I felt her jump on top of me.

_ There we go _

She lifted the covers over the both of us so only our heads and shoulders were showing. When she sunk into my arms, she made a happy, sleepy noise which melted my heart. In a good way.

_ So happy my drunk ass picked her _

_ And not Priya or someone _

_ She would’ve been so pissed _

I decided to just sleep in my clothes since getting up to go get changed would have taken a lot more effort.

She noticed I wasn’t fully out of it because I felt my eyes fluttering open for some reason. She brought her hand up to my face and kissed me.

Her lips felt warm against mine, and the feeling I got from kissing her was ten times more addicting that  _ anything _ else in the world would be.

“Do you want me to take your jeans off?” She asked quietly.

“Aye.  _ Please _ .”

She slid her hand down from my face to my crotch while scratching at my skin through my shirt.

She unzipped my jeans and undid the button in what seemed like a split second.

I felt my jeans being pulled down and she disappeared under the covers.

_ What is she doing? _

I felt her fingertips graze the skin down my legs as she took my jeans off for me.

_ Oh fuck _

She finally got the jeans off and I saw them land on the floor next to the bed, but she did not return to her place next to me.

I felt her body gently lower onto mine with her chest against my thighs.

“Lift up the covers.” She said and I did just that.

“Why?” I asked.

I saw a mischievous grin appear on her face as she drew circles on my stomach.

_ Oh _

_ Is  _ **_that_ ** _ the reason? _

I noticed that the lights had turned off at this point and most of the others were more than likely asleep at this point.

I felt her nails scratch their way down to the waistband of my boxers.

_ Oh shit _

_ Is she gonna... _

And then she crawled up my body and lay her head on my chest.

“Just teasing you babe, and it seems to be working.” She whispered.

_ Noooo why? _

“Lass, ye cannae dae that tae me.”

“Do what?”

“Tease me lik' that!” I accidentally shouted.

“Shhh...”

She pressed one of her fingers against my lips and snuggled into my side.

_ Another day, maybe? _

I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of her breathing softly for a few moments before I fell asleep again.

_ Goodnight my love _

_ Hold on a minute _

_ What did I just say? Think? _

_ Oh my actual- _

_ It’s day four! _


	5. Got A Bed With Your Name On It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first challenge commences as our Islanders wake up. An argument breaks out, but can the relationship be fixed in time?
> 
> [Bed- Ariana Grande feat. Nicki Minaj]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a month I’ve finally got this chapter out!
> 
> I hope you like it ❤️

**Morning**

“Hey girls, what are we up to?” I asked as I sat down on the beanbag next to Veronica.

“Priya’s a bit… upset about yesterday. She thought she was going home.”

“I’m okay Bobby, just needed a moment. That’s all.” Priya sniffled and wiped under her eyes.

Something was off about this. And me, being the  _ epic _ detective that I was, was going to sniff out what was wrong with this.

“You weren’t even upset yesterday. So why be upset now?”

“Bobby! Don’t say that to her!” Lottie hissed.

“He means well. Sure it’s the truth innit?”

_ Thank you _

“Vee’s got a point.” Hope added.

_ Don’t get involved, Hope _

Rocco came running towards us, waving his phone around in the air. He began panting when he stopped and Lottie snatched his phone off him.

**Cowboys and cowgirls! Get ready for today’s challenge! Please head to the challenge platform immediately!**

_ We’re not riding a mechanical bull, are we? _

_ We better be _

“It better not be something got to do with a mechanical bull!” Lottie whined.

_ Yeehaw! _

_ This is  _ **_my_ ** _ kind of challenge _

**— — — — — —**

As we approached the challenge area, I saw an inflatable pen set up in the centre of the platform. 

_ Aw yes, mate! _

_ I’m  _ **_winning_ ** _ this _

When I was in my late teens, I used to love going to the bar with my mates as there would always be the mechanical bull there.

My personal best on the bull was three and a half minutes, and back then I thought I was great. Had a big ego for a while and everything.

After that night, when I had just turned fourteen, Zayne bought me a pint of lager and I got hooked on alcohol at that very moment.

Inside the pen was a mechanical bull. On the other side of the ring is a makeshift façade of a saloon. Various sizes of shooting targets have been hung upon either side of the pen.

“Woah, we’ve got ourselves a real challenge!” 

“Looks like we’re in for some Bucking Bronco.”

“Oh, bring it  _ on _ .” 

Veronica weaved her way through the others and wrapped her arms around me from behind.

“You alright, Lass?”

“You looked like you needed a hug.” She muttered into my back, her lips sending a vibration through my spine.

“I didn’t actually think I needed a hug, but now that you’re giving me one… I realised I  _ do  _ need one.”

Keeping her arms around me, she walked around so she was in front of me and lay her head against my chest.

_ She’s adorable _

“Oh my god! That’s adorable!” Lottie gushed, leaving the others to agree with her.

“I know right? They should just get  _ married _ already.” Hannah added.

I felt my cheeks beginning to heat up a little more than normal and a blush colour also flushed over Veronica’s cheeks as we were teased.

The moment was interrupted by Veronica’s phone which dinged quite loudly.

**Howdy cowgirl! You must lasso your beau onto the bull while it’s spins round and round like a merry-go-round. The more points you get from shooting the targets, the better chance you have at winning the special prize!**

“Okay, here we go,” she said quietly.

I took her hand and squeezed it three times as if it were a reflex.

She looked down at our hands and then back up at me before freezing on the spot.

_ Shit _

This used to be our way of telling each other that we loved each other, but over the years I had been with her, I had gotten so used to doing it that I ended up doing it with my mum and my friends.

“Sorry, Lass,” I whispered while a small smile crept onto her perfect face.

_ Why did I have to do that? _

She unlinked our fingers and tried to get up onto the bull. I ended up helping her onto it as she was too short to reach, which I thought was adorable.

As soon as I took a step back, the bull jerked to life and she let out a scream of joy mixed with a dash of fear.

_ Stop it with the baking references. _

She held onto the straps of the makeshift bridle so tight that I could see her knuckles whitening to the point of being a ghostly shade.

She seemed to be enjoying it though as she whipped her head back in laughter a few times. I let a grin spread on my face as I gazed at her. That was until I heard Noah say, “I wish I could be that bull right now,” quietly to Ibrahim, who nodded.

_ Did I hear that correctly? _

“I do have ears, you know,” I said while anger began to boil in my veins.

**_Jealousy_ **

Noah rolled his eyes and turned away from the group for a few seconds.

My eyes locked back on Veronica, who now had the lasso in her hand.

“Come here, babe!”

I ran up to the pen and she immediately caught me. She pulled me up onto the moving bull and I sat behind her.

I held my legs against the sides of the bull and coiled an arm tightly around Veronica’s waist.

“Comfy back there?”

_ “Very.” _ I said with a smirk and gave her a wink.

She turned her head back around and held onto the straps for dear life.

A loud scream of laughter was let out as she flew off the bull and onto the floor of the pen.

“I’m okay!” She said in between giggles, which made me smile.

I was over the moon that she was okay, but now I began focusing my attention on shooting the targets and keeping myself grounded that the noise of the others became blocked out.

_ Beat the three minutes _

_ Come on, Bobby _

_ You got this _

The bull began knocking me forwards and backwards but that didn’t affect me. I was in my element.

I let out a loud, “Yeehaw!” as the machine spun me around and around.

I took the two pistols in my hands and began shooting the targets with as great of an aim as I had, which wasn’t that good.

I managed to stay on for longer.

And longer.

And longer, until finally I was thrown off the saddle and onto the soft mats that were laid out on the ground.

“Mate, how did you stay on for that long?” Rocco asked.

_ “Practise,” _ I said and didn’t even know that I had a smug grin on my face, thinking about how hard it would be for anyone to beat me.

“Before  _ this _ , my personal best was three and a half minutes,” I boasted.

“Three and a half minutes? Really?” Gary asked, unsure if I was lying or not.

“Aye, I was eighteen when it happened,” I lied. It happened when I was fourteen but I didn’t want them knowing how early I started drinking.

**— — — — — —**

After the challenge had finished we all gathered around in front of the pen, waiting for the results.

Ding!

**The winners of today’s challenge with 16 points are... Bobby and Veronica!**

_ Yes, mate _

_ Get in! _

“We won!” Veronica screamed and barreled me into a tight hug.

**_I_ ** _ won _

_ By myself _

_ You fell off after two seconds, Vee _

Ding!

**You have won a date in the hideaway this evening. #HaveAStrawberryGoodTime**

_ Ba dum tsss _

I saw her eyes light up and a smile crept onto her face.

“Can’t we just go now?” Veronica asked, which earned a few giggles from the others.

“You’re really  _ that _ desperate to get on top of him? Typical, Veronica.”

_ I’m sorry, what?! _

“Like you’d be any different, Priya. A little birdie told me you’re here for all the sex and fame and that’s it. Unlike me, you’re not here for a meaningful relationship. And  _ that’s  _ why you’re single,” Veronica shot back, ripping through the layers of Priya’s heart.

_ Jesus Christ _

“Lass! You can’t say that!” I said angrily, beginning to get frustrated with her.

I shot my eyes in Priya’s direction, and she looked like a deer in headlights. My stomach began to twist softly but harshly enough to cause uncomfortableness.

“I-”

“That went  _ too _ far, Vee.” Lottie stepped in, attempting to control the situation.

“She started it!”

I rolled my eyes and took her to the side, away from listening ears.

“I’m  _ trying  _ to not get mad at you but you’re making that very difficult for me,” I hissed.

“Well, I’m  _ sorry  _ but you annoyed me too.”

“How?”

“By squeezing my hand three times in front of everyone, you know how that makes me feel!” She said, beginning to raise her voice.

“What?! But I thought…” I began to say, but quickly trailed off.

I was stuck in a vent of confusion. Why would she say something like this?

“We’ve had our second fight already,” she said and then sighed loudly.

My hands linked with hers and we stood a few centimetres apart. Her gaze found mine and we stared into each other’s souls for a few seconds before she broke eye contact.

She took a deep breath and smiled as she squeezed my hands.

Two times.

_ Two? _

_ What does that mean? _

“If we want to stay together, we have to stop fighting, on both our parts. I realised myself that I  _ have _ been annoying you and I plan to stop as much as I can immediately,”

“Agreed. I do want to stay with you and I don’t want to fight with you anymore,” I said while trying my hardest to stay composed and not smile.

“Hmm, sure.”

“What was that?” I asked.

“Oh, nothing…”

I hated my smile even though I smiled often. I used to never smile and I wanted to go back to that. However, now I don’t.

“Now, let’s get ready for our date,” she said, swiftly changing the subject.

She skipped off towards the villa and I followed closely behind her.

As soon as I entered the dressing room I flung all of my clothes on the ground. I ended up choosing a black shirt, black skinny jeans and grey runners.

_ This looks fine… _

_ Right? _

I looked in my reflection and realised how well I put together the outfit. I kept it simple but I still looked nice.

I spritzed my cologne that my mate, Rory, gave to me for Christmas last year that I barely ever used. I then fixed my hair and left the room.

I headed towards the girls’ dressing room where I heard loud giggles over the whirring of a hairdryer.

I knocked on the door twice before asking, “Everyone decent?”

“Yep! You can come in!” Lottie called out in a cheerful tone, contrasting from her low mood earlier on in the day.

I watched as Veronica doused herself in a mist of my favourite perfume of hers and as she turned around, a smile grew on her lips.

_ How am I with her? _

_ She’s amazing, and I’m just,  _ **_not_ ** _ amazing. _

“I’m almost ready, just give me one second,” she said while fixing her short black dress.

_ She looks beautiful tonight… _

_ She looks beautiful  _ **_every_ ** _ night! _

_ Dumbass. _

She slipped on her flats and closed her wardrobe door. I held out my hand for her to take and we left the room to the sound of the others whistling and cheering.

One of the team members handed me a pair of keys with a chain dangling out of them holding a ball of pink fluff.

We headed towards the pink door of the hideaway and the adrenaline began to rush through me.

I opened the door and I was hit with the delicious scent of dark chocolate.

And then I saw it, a huge chocolate fountain on the table in the corner of the room. There were two plates of strawberries and marshmallows on sticks set beside the fountain.

Veronica gasped in surprise and her eyes widened as they fell on the fountain.

As my eyes adjusted to the red tinted lights, I noticed two glasses and a bottle of champagne sat on the table.

She walked over to the table and immediately drizzled the chocolate over a few of the strawberries.

_ They look gorgeous _

We sat down on the chairs by the table opposite each other.

I picked up the bottle of champagne and popped the cork in one go, surprisingly. The bottle began to fizz and the spillage dripped slowly down the neck of the bottle.

I carefully poured out two glasses of the champagne before wiping the bottle with the edge of the tablecloth.

_ Why am I cleaning up like this? _

Veronica leaned over with the dark chocolate covered strawberry and popped it into my mouth. As I chewed, I smiled at her, thinking about how lucky I was to have her as  _ mine _ .

We were interrupted, however, by a text from Lottie.

**Something bad is happening, like, really bad :(**

“Babe, uh… something bad happened.”

“What? Where? When?” She began frantically asking questions. “Show me the text,”

“Something bad is happening, like, really bad, sad face...” she said,  _ just _ as my phone beeped.

**Bobby and Veronica, you can stay the night in the hideaway if you please. #GotABedWithYourNameOnIt #GotAKissWithYourNameOnIt**

"We're definitely staying the night here. I can’t wait to get a proper sleep," Veronica whispered softly as she leaned in closer to me.

_ If she thinks she’s sleeping... _

_ She’s wrong. _

Her palms held my jaw softly and guided my mouth toward hers. I parted my lips slightly, just as she pressed her own against mine.

I snaked an arm around her waist, but then I remembered to not go full on as we were still on edge about being together, as a couple.

She parted her lips as my tongue slipped into her mouth, savouring every moment of her lips being on mine.

I pulled away and saw the pearly smile that formed on her face.

“I guess we should talk about…  _ us _ .” I said, breaking the silence.

_ Shit _

_ What was that? _

“Is there an  _ us _ ? I mean… do you even like me?” She asked as our fingers entwined.

_ We literally _ **_just_ ** _ kissed _

“Do I  _ like  _ you? Babe, have you not met yourself?”

_ I love- _

_ Bruh, stop _

“Of course I like you,” I reassured, sending a heartwarming smile her way. 

“Really? You  _ like  _ me? After all of these years full of pain, heartbreak, arguments, everything… You  _ actually  _ like me?” She laughed, dryly. “I can’t believe you right now, you know that?”

_ What’s gotten into her? _

“You’re saying  _ I  _ broke  _ your  _ heart?  _ Please. _ You broke my heart when you first asked me on a date because I knew we weren’t meant to be. I knew we wouldn’t work! So... How  _ dare _ you say I broke your heart!” I shot back.

She jumped up off the bed and paced the room as she scolded, “Yes! You  _ did  _ break my heart,  _ and _ my bones, and when I was with you I had to break off contact with all of my family members since they hated you and they hate me even more now! I did  **_everything_ ** to try to keep our relationship together! And then you have the audacity to dump me by a letter?!”

“You know I had to, Johnny said-”

“I don’t give a shit about what Johnny says! Stop using his words as excuses!”

_ How dare she? _

“Don’t you dare tell me what to do, Veronica,” I hissed coldly, watching her muscles begin to tense from frustration.

The crease from her frown deepened further as she stormed up to me.

_ She looks like the Kirby meme where he’s holding a knife by the back door _

“Excuse me?”

I placed my hands on her hips and dug my nails into her skin as I pulled her closer to my body.

She stood in between my legs as I spread them, making it easier to pull her closer.

Her hands found my shoulders and she tried to fight off the smile that slowly snuck onto her lips.

She pushed me away, eventually making my fingers slip off her hips as I folded my arms.

The long breath I took filled my lungs with dusky air, the red lights adding to the intensity. I held the breath for a short moment before exhaling deeply, letting the air flee my lungs. I brought my hands up to my face and ran my fingers down my skin slowly before rubbing my eyes.

“Second argument of the day… and that was on both of our parts again. As I said earlier if we want to succeed with our relationship, we have to stop fighting.”

“It’s hard not to argue when people  _ accuse _ you of things though.”

“Things like what?” She asked curiously, sitting down on the bed next to me again.

“You accused me of cheating on you, when I didn’t,” I said quietly, not wanting to look into her eyes.

She ran her fingers down my back and began rubbing the tension away. Her other arm wrapped around my stomach, then eventually she gave me a warm hug.

“I’m so sorry for wrongly accusing you of  _ that _ ,” she said as her lips made contact with my cheek.

I turned to face her and the sadness in her eyes shattered my heart into a billion pieces. I had broken her again.

It would take me a very long time to fix my mistake, but I was willing to accept my failure.

_ I will fix our relationship... _

_ Someday. _


	6. A Baking Disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby bakes some cupcakes, and Priya strikes again.

I woke up to the sound of Veronica breathing softly next to me, her breath brushing against the light hairs on my chest.

Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled at me. Cuddling up closer to me, she wrapped her arms around my torso sleepily.

“Good morning, Bee,” she said, a yawn escaping through her lips.

“Morning, Lass. How did you sleep?”

“Really well actually, you’re such a nice hot water bottle.”

I booped her nose, causing her to wrinkle her face up. She looked adorable.

Her eyes wandered to the bowl of condoms on the dresser next to us and she looked at them lustfully.

“Want to take a shower with me?” She asked, giving me a flirty look, which completely brushed over me and I, for some reason, did not take the hint.

“Another time, maybe,” I said and her face fell, she quickly fixed it back into a smile though.

“That’s okay, it was just a suggestion.”

She cuddled into me and made a happy, sleepy noise which warmed my heart. I was finally where I needed to be.

But something didn’t sit right with me.

My gut churned and my mind raced, thinking about how lucky I was to have her, but it was  _ too _ perfect.

And I knew something would be thrown our way to break us apart.

“I just want to stay here forever,” she whispered, her breath brushing over my chest like a paintbrush on a canvas.

“Me too. But, wouldn’t you miss the others?” I joked.

“No. I only need you to make me happy,” she said and left a little kiss on my chest.

_ Adorable _

Veronica’s phone screen lit up and dinged quietly. She rolled over to check the notification and her face dropped.

It was a copy and pasted text from the producers to Lottie from last night.

**Islanders, as you all know by now there are eleven of you still in the villa. That number is about to change tomorrow night as one couple will be dumped from the villa. #SeeYouAgain.**

My eyes widened as they scanned the screen and my heart fell through the ground into the pit of the earth.

“Oh my god, a dumping? Tonight?” I whispered under my breath.

“We’d better get out there then! You know, show our faces?”

“Nah, let them wonder where we are… let their imaginations run free about what we got up to in the night,” she said, her soft whispers fluttering her breath across my skin.

I wanted to stay in the bed, curl up in the soft sheets and float away into my dreams. But I couldn’t. There was a dumping and I had to show my face.

I rolled over and sat up in the bed, stretching my arms over my head like a cat to crack the bones in my back.

I was pulled back to lay down, however, and Veronica wrapped her arms and legs tightly around me.

“Lass,” I laughed. “We’ve gotta get up now.”

_ “Nooo,” _ she whined.

It took me a moment to think of what to say, but I finally got it.

_ Cupcakes. _

“I’ll make you red velvet cupcakes. Your  _ favourite _ .”

“If you think bribing me with your baking is going to work, then you’d better get started! I’m so hungry!”

We both rolled out of the same side of the bed and linked our fingers together as we headed for the door.

I unlocked the door with the provided keys and we stepped out of the room.

“Back into reality,” Veronica sighed, but quickly her pout formed into a smile as she looked at me.

“Last night went exactly how I wanted it to, I’m honestly  _ so _ happy with you, Lass.”

Her  eyes began to close from smiling so much, it seemed to me that she was happy. The happiest she’d been in a long time.

Her grip on my hand became stronger as we headed towards the bedroom where we heard light giggles and a few deep laughs.

“Before we go in, can I have a kiss?” She asked, pouting her lips straight after.

“Oh, I suppose so,” I mocked a sigh before gently kissing her.

“Awh, look at the  _ lovebirds _ !” Marisol cooed as she passed us, making her way into the bedroom from the bathroom.

We entered the bedroom and the room was silent. Not even a snore ripped through the silence as Veronica and I headed towards our bed.

We climbed in next to each other and she cuddled up to my back, her heart beating softly against my spine.

She traced two of her fingers up and down my back along the fading scar from the crash, like a feather. I rolled over and picked her up into my arms so she was laying on top of me.

I held her close and eventually, we fell asleep to the sound of each other breathing softly, our hearts beating in sync.

**—————————**

Sunlight poured through the glass panes as I began to stir in bed. I heard a familiar scream of laughter come from outside and a huge splash. I held the duvet closer to me and spread my limbs out like a starfish, touching each corner and breathing out deeply.

“How’s Mr. Lover boy doing this morning?” Gary teased as he sat up in bed.

“Oh, good morning Gaz. How did you sleep?”

“Better without you and Veronica here, no offence.”

I laughed, “None taken, mate.”

_ I might actually have to bake those cupcakes today _

_ At some point _

I got up and headed towards the gym where Rahim was lifting weights on his own.

“Alright?”

He put the weight down and dusted off his hands.

“Hey mate, what are you up to?”

I over-exaggerated a yawn and replied with, “last night’s got me so tired.”

“I bet,” he smirked.

We sat in silence for a few moments and an awkwardness filled the air.

“So… have you ever heard of Grine Spelman?”

_ Grime what now? _

“Uh… sure?”

“Oh, mate. I’m so happy right now! No one seemed to know who he was! I’m so happy you do because he’s my  _ favourite _ and…”

I let my eyes wander to the pool where I saw Hope lying on the pool edge while Veronica swam around near her, zoning out of the conversation as Rahim began to go off on one about superheroes.

Hope let out a high pitched squeal as Veronica jumped out of the water, scaring her. I laughed to myself as I thought it was hilarious.

“Bobby, mate. Are you even listening to me?” Rahim asked, pulling me out of my daze.

“What? Oh yeah! Violent man is the best,” I said, trying to sound like I was listening, when I clearly wasn’t.

“It’s  _ Violet _ man,”

_ Okay, dude _

_ Chill out _

“Sorry mate, I’m just tired.”

“Wait shhhh! I want to hear what they’re saying,” Rahim said while pointing at the girls.

We quietened down but the girls voices were barely audible over Rocco’s “amazing” rendition of Wonderwall. I heard something about baking cupcakes and red velvet, but couldn’t make out the rest of it.

“I’m having doubts,” is what I read from Veronica’s lips, which broke me.

Hope’s phone dinged loudly and I focussed my full attention on her as she began reciting the text with a joyous smile lurking on her lips.

“Islanders, tomorrow night there will be a party hosted by the Ministry of Sound, featuring a  _ very _ special guest! Hashtag let’s get this party started, hashtag dress to impress!”

_ Ministry of  _ **_Sound_ ** _... _

**_Sound_ ** _ s like a whole lot of trouble _

**———————**

I headed for the unoccupied kitchen and opened the cupboards, looking for what I needed.

I retrieved a twelve-cupped tin from the cupboard beside the oven.

Searching the other cupboards for cupcake cases was no use as there were none, so I opted for an alternative. Veronica’s other favourite baked item; chocolate cake.

As I whisked the cake batter, I noticed a shiny box by the fridge, the only place I didn’t search while looking for the cupcake cases.

They were sitting there the  _ entire _ time.

_ Are you being serious? _

I placed the bowl back down on the counter and grabbed the box of pink cases.

I opened them up and placed them in the cake tin.

As I picked the bowl back up, beginning to whisk the fluffy batter, I heard footsteps come towards me.

“What’s cookin’ good lookin’,” I heard from behind me, expecting it to be Veronica.

“Oh, hi Priya.”

She glided towards me effortlessly and leaned against the island, watching closely as I was thrown back into my element.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing much, what’s up with you?” I asked as I went back to creating my masterpiece.

“Actually, babes… there’s something I have to tell you,” she said while sighing, not looking into my eyes and playing with her hair.

_ Is she… nervous? _

“Veronica. She told me she doesn’t see a future with you.”

_ A what? _

_ She what? _

“What? Really?” I said, panicked.

I slammed the whisk down on the counter and ripped my apron off, causing the seam to tear, breaking my heart in the process.

_ My apron! _

_ My beloved apron is ruined! _

“Fuck! Mate, are you serious? Like, does she actually not like me?”

A mischievous smirk spread across her lips, causing my stomach to somersault into next year.

“I’m not sure. But I know someone else who likes you…”

_ Who? _

“...and let me just say, this person also loves  _ chocolate cupcakes _ ,” she whispered, running her fingers lightly down my chest.

I flinched under her touch and quickly turned back around towards the cupcake tins. I poured the mixture into the cases and popped them in the oven.

I then set a timer for thirty minutes. Priya helped me wash up the equipment so I could use them again for making cream.

After drying the bowl, I got to work on the cayenne-spiced whipped cream. 

As I whisked the ingredients together, Priya dipped her finger into the mix and wiped the icing onto my nose.

_ Veronica used to do that... _

Her face fell after a few seconds and she sucked air through her teeth. “I just don’t think she’s as real as she seems. I feel like, you know the way people can have feelings that just don’t go away? Well… I know that Lottie  _ really _ likes you. She told me the other day she finds you really attractive and I don’t blame her…”

_ You’re sounding  _ **_a lot_ ** _ like Hamilton. _

_ Hamilton? Hamlet? I don’t know! _

Iago. She sounded like Iago from  _ Othello _ . Scheming against everyone so he can get to the top.

I rolled my eyes and focused on whipping the cream into the perfect consistency.

My mind kept jogging back to what Priya had said. Was she being genuine? Did Veronica not actually like me?


	7. The Relationship We Had Is Breaking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dumping has been announced! But how will our Islanders cope?

Rahim entered the kitchen and his eyes wandered between Priya and I, more than likely wondering why we were so close together.

_He won’t think it’s anything._

_We’re all mates, anyway._

“What’s going on here?” He asked, taking a seat by the island.

Priya whipped her head around and her expression immediately changed as her eyes wandered over to Hope and Noah.

_Why is she looking at them?_

_What’s she planning?_

“Do you think Hope and Noah are as real as they say they are?”

_What?!_

“I think they’re romantic!” I said. “But I will admit, they _are_ laying it on a bit thick,”

“Says Mr. Loverboy over here! You’re practically married at this point,” Rahim laughed and nudged me with his elbow.

_Marriage?_

I turned my attention to Priya who looked lost in thought. She snapped back into reality and said out of the blue; “I think they’re infatuated with each other, like, but in a bad way if that makes sense. They got too serious too quickly and it’s a bit suspicious.”

“Suspicious? It’s cute!”

Priya tugged on my arm and pulled my ear to her lips. “No, they’re not cute. They’re faking it and I’m gonna prove it.”

_Um… I'm sorry._

_What?!_

“What are you planning on doing, Babes?” Rahim asked.

“Hmm?”

“You looked like you were in one of your ‘thinking-of-an-evil’ plan moods,” I added.

_Like Iago._

_Yes! I got the reference right this time!_

She leant in closer to Rahim and I. “I’ll try turning some heads,” she said, throwing a half concealed wink at me.

“I don’t like this,” Rahim said, throwing a worried glance at me.

_Me neither, mate._

My eyes scanned the surrounding area making sure no prying ears were lurking around, listening to _their_ conversation. The coast was clear. 

Rahim got to his feet and exited the kitchen in a huff. I wouldn’t blame him as the girl he was in a couple with had been flirting with me and had now just said she wanted to try it on with Noah.

_He secretly wishes he was Noah though, having the girls all wanting him like that..._

———————

Veronica gracefully sauntered onto the lawn, looking out over the horizon, finally. The breath in my chest hitched and my heart warmed as I noticed she opted for a different take on a gorgeous outfit. Instead of a skimpy bikini, she donned a loose fitting black shirt with the _Rolling Stones_ logo embroidered on the centre.

My heart soared through a series of warm shocks every time she took a step, watching her glide across the lawn in _my_ shirt, letting everyone know she was mine. She belonged to me.

Lottie waved her over to the pool but she ignored her and kept walking towards the kitchen where Priya was endlessly trying to flirt with me. She did a double take when she saw Priya and I so close together but shook it off like the remnants of an eraser from paper.

I stumbled over my feet as I bent down to take the freshly baked cupcakes out of the oven. I also made sure to back away from Priya as God only knows what she would’ve done if I didn’t.

I felt Priya’s eyes burning into the skin of my back, but kept my cool as Veronica walked towards us.

“Veronica,” Priya said. A casual up nod was added by Veronica to make the situation _even_ more awkward.

Her beautiful and delicate smile shone through the tension, however, creating a sudden warmth throughout the kitchen.

“Bobby and _I_ made you some cupcakes,” Priya said, nudging the barely finished confectioneries towards her.

“Oh, you both made them? How _lovely_ ,” She said cautiously, darting her eyes between us both with a furrow in her brow. 

“They’re chocolate cupcakes with cayenne spiced whipped cream on top,” I said, while adding shavings of dark chocolate atop the cream.

She scrunched up her adorable little nose but quickly relaxed her face muscles as a thought popped into her head. She crossed the kitchen and reached for my waist. I quickly grabbed a towel and dried my hands off before returning her embrace. 

Priya sauntered out of the room, leaving Veronica and I alone.

“Last time we were alone in the kitchen we had a fight…”

I tugged her closer to me and brushed my fingers down her hair, calming her down. “Yeah, but that won’t happen again.”

_It won’t happen in the kitchen anyway_

She squeezed me tight before craning her neck to look up at me. Her smile was so delicate and beautiful. I squinted to protect my tired eyes from it as her smile would’ve burned through them, creating voids in the sockets. 

Veronica’s face fell and she pushed me away. She turned her back to me and ran out of the room. Her cries of pain were enough to make my heart grow weak.

I debated following her but ended on the conclusion of giving her space.

I spun back around and checked on the cupcakes which were untouched and still perfect. I would’ve loved to see Veronica eat one with a smile on her face.

But she didn’t, and that broke me a little. I had to keep it together, however, as she was feeling under the weather. So I had to be her ray of sunshine.

———————

  
  


Gary ran onto the lawn, waving his phone around in the air. “Got a text! The dumping is in an hour!”

A punch of air flew to my stomach, causing a shooting pain to accelerate through my body.

Veronica appeared in the kitchen a few seconds later with mascara rolling down her blushed cheeks.

“Oh my god! Lass, are you alright?”

“I just had an episode…” she muttered quietly as she trudged towards me, not looking into my eyes and her head was bent down to the floor.

“Of what? Are you okay?”

“I… I should’ve told you this a while ago but…” she began saying, and the dread in my soul strengthened as she explained what had happened to her that night in the club. Her episode of PTSD was like no other, but I was so thankful that she was okay.

I threw her into my arms as tears filled my eyes, never wanting to let her go. If I never let her go, bad things wouldn’t happen to her, or so I thought. I never realised up until now that I was the cause of most of her trauma.

As my mind entered an endless limbo, the most powerless feeling took over me and building rage coursed in my veins, burning like acid.

Yet, I wasn’t furious at her. I was furious at myself for not seeing what had happened to her. What’s been eating away her soul and stopping her from being free. I wish I could have stopped what happened in the club...

How did I not see it? All of the signs pointed towards it! If I had seen it, she wouldn’t be here in this dark place full of sadness and anger right now.

And I could never forgive her or myself for taking away my chance to save her from it.

While I always felt I knew her my _whole_ life, it felt like I was seeing her clearly for the first time.

And it was the moment I knew this was real.

It was her, it had always been her.

This emotion I had. I knew it was real.

It was love.


	8. Dumped Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dumping is in full swing, and everyone is upset with the results.

We sat around the firepit waiting for the first text to go off, and then it did.

My heart beat out of my chest, pumping the blood at such a speed I thought it would lose control. I unlocked my phone and stood up.

I took a deep, shaky breath and rang out my hands as the others hushed.

“Islanders, the public have been voting for their favourite couples. The couples with the least amount of votes will become vulnerable and at risk of leaving the island.”

The text ended there, so I sat back down next to Veronica who immediately clung onto me. Her curled locks brushed against the skin on my arm, causing my hair to prickle up as goosebumps formed.

Gary’s phone was next to go off. He stood up and recited his text.

“As you know there are eleven of you, but that number is about to change tonight… as we send one couple packing.”

My stomach dropped through the Earth and into a void of pain and worry. My breath hitched in my throat, but Veronica was there to calm me down.

Her fingers began stroking up and down my back, barely melting any tension, but at least she tried.

A hush filled the air, waiting for the next text to come through the phones. And then it did.

“In no particular order, the first couple safe tonight are… Hope and Noah!”

_ Oh, of course. _

They hugged each other tightly before sitting down next to each other, and for the first time I saw clearly how good they looked together.

_ That’s couple goals right there _

My eyes shot towards Priya who eyed me up before throwing her head towards Nope. She then made a heart shape with her hands and pulled them apart slowly before pointing to herself.

“What?” I mouthed to her, but the beep from Gary’s phone cut me off.

Priya shifted her stare to Gary as he read his text aloud.

“The next couple to be saved is… Hannah and Ibrahim!”

Rahim immediately picked Hannah up and twirled her around as their lips met. I hadn’t seen them together much since the recoupling as Hannah had been imitating Lottie’s shadow since then.

They pulled away and sat down next to each other to the sound of our applause.

The amount of couples standing was getting smaller and smaller, and the knot in my stomach grew larger and larger.

A shine off Veronica’s face caught my eye. I wiped the tear away and embraced her tightly.

I leant in towards her ear and stroked her cheek gently with my thumb.

“If you go, I’m walking too,” I whispered to her as she wiped her tears away.

She composed herself next to me and took a deep breath.

Lottie’s phone lit up and her text read;

**Bobby and Veronica, you are safe.**

My heart fluttered in my chest and the beat slowed down. I tangled my fingers in Veronica’s hair and crashed my lips against hers, feeling her warm breath against my tongue as it explored her mouth.

I never wanted to let her go, but I had to.

We sat as close as we could together on the bench and clutched our hands together. I rested my head against her shoulder and enjoyed the feeling of relief that washed up on me.

———————

**Lottie and Rocco, Marisol and Gary, you are up for elimination. Your fate is now in the hands of your fellow Islanders. The boys must now decide which girl they would like to save, and the girls must decide which boy they would like to save. Good luck everyone!**

_ Seriously? _

**_We_ ** _ have to choose? _

“Make the right decision,” Veronica whispered as her lips grazed the skin of my ear, causing a shudder to roam through my body.

———————

**On the roof terrace**

“So we’re just meant to save one girl and dump the other?” Noah asked, a furrow crossing his brows.

“I don’t want Lottie to go,” I said, not knowing those words would be the downfall of mine and Veronica’s relationship.

“Nah, mate. Marisol has to stay! She’s so wise and nice and-”

“And Lottie isn’t?”

Silence filled the air and all we could hear were raised voices coming from in the bedroom, until 

“Priya’s right, you  _ do  _ like Lottie as more than a friend, don’t you?” Noah chimed in, a snarky remark flipping his personality on its end.

**———————**

After much debate we ended up choosing one girl we’d have liked to save, and I had hoped it was the right decision.

We made our way back down to the fire pit in silence, not wanting to make eye contact as the vulnerable couples looked straight at us.

The girls had seemed to make their decision a lot quicker than us as they had already sat back down by the fire.

Veronica pulled me into her arms and buried her fingers deep in my hair as the rest of our friends sat down in their couples.

The boys and I- the boys had decided  _ I  _ would be the one to send a girl home, and I just went with the plan.

They bitched about and fought over the girls for what had seemed like forever, but then we came to the conclusion of...

A message went off telling me to stand up. The two girls clutched each others’ hands together and looked genuinely terrified at the outcome.

“The lads and I have decided to save this girl because she’s a really important part to this group. Her energy is amazing and she brightens up every room she walks into, unless she’s in a bad mood, then all hell breaks loose!” I joked, trying to lift the mood.

“So that’s why the girl we’ve decided to save is…”

I took a deep breath and rung out my hands before squeezing my eyes shut, and saying, “Lottie.”

Marisol covered her face with her hands as Lottie held onto her. They both crouched down into an emotional hug and my heart shattered at the sight. I had just sent someone home.

———————

Veronica stood up from next to me and took her place opposite Gary and Rocco. Tears had already begun falling from her beautiful face, so I knew it was such a hard decision for her to make.

She’s never been great under pressure, so this, this was a major setback for her.

“We’ve decided to save this boy because he… he’s  _ an important part of the group _ . When discussing with the girls I had made a good argument as to why the other boy should be saved, but anyway… que sera sera!”

A look shone over her face that I had only seen three or four times, pure fear and sadness. I had seen her sadness before, but this was on another level.

“The boy the other girls have decided to dump from the villa is…”

She covered her mouth as the flood gates opened. I reached out and took her other hand in mine.

“Rocco,” she cried, through her tears of pain and agony.

Gary immediately threw his arms around the emotional Rocco, barrelling him into a hug. We had just lost one of our own, and it was my fault.

“I’m proud of you,” Veronica whispered, squeezing my hand reassuringly.

“You’re  _ proud  _ of me for sending someone home?”

“No, but I’m proud that  _ you _ were the one to say it.”

“Someone had to anyways…”

“That’s not the point! And also,  _ I  _ sent Rocco home! He was my best mate here! Don’t you not care about my feelings?” She asked, completely off topic.

_ Huh? _

_ That’s… that’s  _ **_not_ ** _ what we were talking about _

“If he’s your best mate here, why send him home?” I shot back, just as everyone had turned towards us.

“Could you two just, like,  _ not  _ fight? For one second?” Lottie snarled through her tears.

Veronica and I rolled our eyes in sync, but hugged it out.

———————

We stood by the door to the exit of the villa, awaiting Marisol and Rocco’s departure.

Veronica had jumped onto Rocco and wouldn’t let go as he tried to walk out of the villa. My already broken heart shattered even more at the sight.  _ What had the other girls done? _

_ Something else has been upsetting her  _ I thought to myself just as Hope and Noah broke out into an argument behind us.

“Did I just hear you correctly? You  _ kissed  _ her?”

“N-no! She tried to kiss me and I dodged it.”

My mind raced and raced, trying to think of who it could be. And then it hit me.

_ Priya. _


	9. The Ministry Of Sound Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas! 🥰❤️
> 
> The special guest arrives at the party, and Lottie reveals some drama!

I turned to look at Priya who had a look of pure guilt written all over her face as World War Three had broken out between Nope from behind us.

Veronica pulled on Hope’s arm and brought her away from the group and onto the living room while Rahim brought Noah further into the villa.

We waved Marisol and Rocco off, smiles on their faces. Looking at each other as… as if they were a... couple...

_ Oh god _

_ Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop, stop, stop! _

_ This is too much! _

I left the group and headed for the bathroom to have a shower when I heard someone shout about a text from downstairs.

**The party is about to start! Please go and get ready <3**

_ A heart too? _

_ That’s… sweet? I guess _

I hadn’t actually realised what the message had said until a few minutes later.

_ The ministry of sound party _

_ Oh “yay!” _

———————

After I had finished getting ready, I headed onto the terrace. I found Lottie up there, alone, so I decided to keep her company

“Stargazing again?” I asked, taking a seat next to her.

“Yeah…” she sighed, fiddling with her black rose pendant necklace that complimented her fair skin beautifully.

“A lot of drama back there, right?”

“Yeah, fucking Priya kissed Noah and it ruined everyone’s night.  _ Just because she wants to go kissing  _ **_someone else’s_ ** _ partner doesn’t mean it has to ruin everyone’s night! _ ”

_ That makes no sense, but okay! _

_ Wait _

_ Priya kissed Noah?! _

**_What?!_ **

“Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. Did you just say what I think you said?” I exclaimed, confusion muddling my mind.

———————

Apparently Priya had kissed Noah, causing the villa to be set aflame by Hope. But I wouldn’t blame her. Her partner has been kissed by two other girls in this villa and we’re only a week in!

By now we had separated into different groups as the party had started.

I thought the atmosphere would’ve been more frosty than it was, but everyone was dancing together and actually having a good time. Even Hope and Noah!

Good vibes floated back into the villa as we danced the night away. 

Slick with sweat, I decided to take a break on the benches by the firepit.

As I sat down on the bench, a loud, low call could be heard from behind a DJ set up.

“Please welcome tonight’s host!”

I headed back over towards the group to get a good look at the DJ. A man appeared from behind the set up with a giant white helmet on him. Two X’s for the eyes and a wide smile.

_ Oh my god _

**_Marshmello?!_ **

He began spinning the tables round and round while holding headphones to his “ear”.

Eventually he took off the helmet revealing his identity. An unfamiliar man smiled at us as he laughed.

“Mate I really don’t know how to be a DJ. Why was I offered this job?” He chuckled, spinning the tables like dough.

_ A baker?  _ **_Chef?_ ** _ As a second job, maybe... _

His well built figure shone in the moonlight and the wind brushed though his slightly curled, brunette hair.

The white shirt paired with black jeans went perfectly together. He looked like the kind of man any girl could fall for, and that got me worried.

“Damn, he’s fit,” I heard from beside me. Hope nudged Veronica’s arm gently and pointed towards the DJ.

My heart sank through the earth as Veronica nodded in agreement. However, I was lifted back to the stairs for the journey to cloud nine as she said, “But Bobby is  _ way  _ fitter.”

The girls headed off into their little group and I stood alone. I watched the two groups dancing, having the time of their lives. But something didn’t sit right with my stomach.

I felt like I didn’t belong. Everyone seemed to gel so well together and I was just a stray hair, getting judged for not being like the others.

That feeling was thrown out the window as Gary and Noah noticed me. They made their way towards me, dancing as they stumbled into each other.

“You lads are hilarious!” I laughed, earning a smile from the two.

Over Gary’s shoulder I noticed Priya looking at me with an expression on her face that I had not seen before from her. She smiled at me and raised an eyebrow, sending a shock to my heart.

_ What could she be planning now? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned for more!


	10. The Party and the Afterparty aka Heartbreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit hits the fan as Priya strikes once again, causing the villa to flip upside down in one of the biggest upsets the villa has ever seen...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas to anybody who celebrates it! 🥰😘

“Here’s to Team Troublemakers, eh?” Priya said as she sat next to me.

“Um… yeah.”

“Wanna dance?”

_No._

_I’m so tired._

“Sure.”

She extended her arm out and dragged me over to the dancefloor

Jake blasted Location, by Khalid, as we began slowing down with our dancing. We just had I Like It playing, so another short break was needed. For the others, not me, as I had a break for a few minutes already.

“I’m going to go dance with Hope, okay? Have fun, you two,” Veronica said and gave me a kiss on the cheek, my skin tingling beneath her plumping lipgloss.

She twirled away from us as she laughed. I made sure to make my dancing look ridiculous so I could make her happy. And it had worked.

“May I have this dance?” Priya asked me. A dark, mischievous glint twinkled in her eye, worrying me.

Bringing my eyes away from the girl I had fallen for, they now locked with Priya’s. She took my hands and we swayed in rhythm together. Her smile illuminated the night sky and a warmth spread through my veins. 

I spun her around while we danced effortlessly. Everything began to move in slow motion and my eyes adjusted to the disco lights, and I was seeing her clearly for the first time.

She took both of my hands in hers tightly and placed them on her hips as the tempo picked up. 

I couldn’t move, however. I wanted to break free from her embrace but I was superglued in the one spot on the lawn.

She ran her hands up my chest and then coiled her arms around my neck. We swayed in rhythm and I thanked God a million times that Veronica had gone off to dance with Hope and Lottie.

In this moment I had also forgotten I was coupled up with Veronica. It was just Priya and I in the moment.

Her lips were inches away from my own and which made my heart rate accelerate into overdrive.

The song had begun to end , and Jake managed to switch up the track to Love Me Harder by Ariana Grande.

Priya took a step back and led me away without another word.

The others exchanged looks of worry, while Lottie had a smirk on her face.

_What are those two planning?_

We ended up by the roof terrace, lined with lights and sprinkled with rose petals from the bush aside.

She pushed me down onto the bench and walked towards me.

“Wait, what was that for?” I asked, unbeknownst to her intentions.

The devilish glare in her eyes caught my attention, and I knew exactly what she was about to do. And I was right.

She took my lap, straddling me. My arms were pinned to the bench by her hands. She dragged her long nails down my arms and placed her hands over mine as she got comfortable.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” I whispered as her lips ghosted mine.

She pressed her chest against mine while snaking her arms around my neck. Her lips pressed to mine, locking them in a forbidden kiss.

She placed my hands on her hips again as she deepened the kiss, and I had no idea why I was letting her do this to me.

_Don’t do this, Bobby._

_Don’t break Veronica’s heart._

My mind fully shut down as I kissed her, taking her aback, but it was all she needed to keep going.

_It’s karma though,_

_From when she kissed Noah..._

Her tongue slipped into my mouth, but quickly came back out again.

“I think someone’s coming,” she whispered as she got off my lap.

_Oh no!_

_What have we done?!_

To make matters worse, out of everyone in the villa that could’ve come up here it _had_ to be the girl I was in a couple with. The girl I fell in love with.

My whole world fell apart in that moment and I had no idea how I could save our relationship after _that._

Something about Priya made me stop though, she was something unfamiliar. Something fresh. Something even more exciting.

Something I needed.

“Priya feels bad already, Lass,” I said, not thinking ahead about what Priya could feel bad for. Other than the kiss.

“About what?”

_I don’t know either_

“I’m sorry, Veronica,” she said quietly, not meeting either of our eyes.

_Don’t you dare tell her_

“What’s up, hun?”

“I wore your perfume without asking…”

_I was wondering why they smelled so similar_

She was already so caught up in Hope and Noah’s drama that she didn’t need to know about this, yet.

“That’s okay! The only thing I think you could do that would _completely_ crush me was if you were to kiss Bobby.”

Those last few words raced around in my mind.

 _The only thing you could do that would_ **_completely_ ** _crush me was if you were to kiss Bobby_

And that was exactly what had happened.

I let out a series of nervous laughs as Veronica took my hands, causing me to tense up as Priya had done this just a few minutes ago.

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you, but I can’t ask here.”

“I’ll leave if you two need some privacy,” Priya said and quickly left the room.

_Can I leave too?_

_Please?_

“What was it you wanted to ask me?”

“So I’m… this probably isn’t _my_ place to ask you this, but do you believe in like, horoscopes and stuff? And the kind of thing Lottie does?”

“Not really, but anyways... why?” I asked, nervousness getting the better of me as I began to break down inside.

“Lottie and I were talking earlier and she… she thinks the spirits were telling her something… she said she saw it in the leaves when she read my tea earlier. ‘An affair’ she said, but I thought I’d just ask you anyway.”

“An affair? Between who?”

Breaking my heart in the process, she let go of my hands. 

“You and someone else,” she said quietly, tears beginning to spew out of her perfect eyes.

“Lass, I would never do anything like that! The coffee shit was fucking wrong!” I said, the nervousness turning into a slight anger and frustration.

**_I hate everything and everyone!_ **

“There was something I had wanted to tell you, but I don’t think I even know you properly now.”

“Babe, you _do_ know me. I was your first love. Your first _everything_.”

“Now I find that hard to look back on. I don’t know you, Bobby. The only version I know of you right now is your loving and caring side. But I’m starting to believe that that side of you is fading into the background and is being replaced. Replaced by a _player_.”

_She’s not wrong though_

“So… you think I’ve cheated on you?”

“Yes.”

“I’d never do such a thing, Lass,” I lied. “I can’t believe you would accuse me of something like that!”

Crocodile tears formed in my eyes and poured down my face as I _tried_ , but failed to seem as innocent as possible.

“Oh hun! I’m so sorry, it’s just… everything was getting to me earlier and I became worked up over nothing and then Lottie showed me the leaves and then…”

“And then Priya tried to kiss me,” I blurted, without looking at her.

“She… **_what?!_ **” Veronica shrieked, causing everything downstairs to grow quiet.

The sound of music faded and all I could hear was the sound of birds chirping in the trees.

“It’s bad enough that you fancy Lottie right now and not me, but Priya was trying to kiss you? That crosses the line. I’m going to go and give her a piece of my mind,” she hissed and stormed out of the room before I could stop her.

_I fancy Lottie?_

_Who told her that?_

_What have I done?_

And then it dawned on me.

_Priya._

_She doesn’t know when to stop, does she?_

————————

“You _told_ her? How could you?!” Priya shrieked as she stormed into the room. It had been about five minutes since Veronica left and I barely had a chance to think as my subconscious travelled or another dimension.

“I had to! I was uncomfortable!”

“You kissed me back!”

“I lost myself, and I’m sorry if it came across wrong,” I said but before I could finish my sentence, she had left the room.

————————-

I sat on the terrace thinking about what to do next, when I heard the door handle being pulled down.

 _“Priya said_ **_you_ ** _kissed her!”_ A distressed, emotional Veronica cried out, wiping under her mascara-filled eyes.

“What? That’s not what happened!” I exclaimed.

“Really? I find that hard to believe.”

I was taken aback by her words. I could not believe she had thought _I_ was the one who kissed Priya.

“You’re angry at me? You’re such a fucking hypocrite, Veronica.”

“How, exactly?” She asked.

“Wow. You don’t remember kissing Noah on the lawn a few days ago?” I spat, getting more frustrated by the second.

“I do remember that, actually. I just can’t like… I don’t know why you’re getting so worked up and annoyed at what I did since you do the exact same thing with Priya! Seems like you care more about _her_ than you do me.”

“I don’t care about anyone but you! I-”

“You what? Fuck, Bobby! For a second I thought you actually liked me! Do you not see how embarrassed that makes me feel, to know that the man I like doesn’t even care for me?!”

I couldn’t take it anymore and gave her a slap across the face. She gasped loudly and a wash of fear crashed across her face like the sea.

“Just shut up! Shut up, Veronica, for a second _please_ ! It’s always been you! Always! I’m fucking in _love_ with you! I care about you so much! **You’re my fucking everything!** ”

I didn’t even notice, but I was screaming in her face. Terrifying her.

“Listen! Are you listening to me?! I said, **I love you!** I fucking…” I threw her against the bench and gripped her shoulders firmly with my fingers, digging my nails into her skin.

“Do you not know how it makes me feel to see you with a man that’s not me when you’re hanging with the lads?! I’m jealous! Every single fucking day I wish I were better for you! You wanna know why? You’re my _everything!_ I have always been in love with you! Even when we broke up!”

“You’re really hurting me,” she squeaked and winced under my grip.

“Oh, I’m _hurting_ you?” I laughed, dryly. “You’ve hurt me since day one! And it’s ‘cause I don’t deserve to have you in my life! You’ve been hurting me for eternity!”

“If you loved me, why did you choose to let Priya kiss you?” She asked.

_Good question..._

“I don’t fucking know! Alright?! I wasn’t thinking! I saw red and I thought...!”

My fingers had become numb at this point, so I knew her shoulders and arms were gone numb too.

“It’s you! It’s always been you, Veronica! D’ye hear me?! I love… I’ve loved you since the moment I fucking saw you! In the bar… The fucking bar! I’ve loved you since I saw you in the bar! Even outside when Toni helped you out of the car! You caught my eye and I fucking... melted!”

“You don’t know what you’re saying! You _love_ me?! Get your act together, Bobby! I hear you! I know you love me!” Veronica’s scream got to me through the noise of blood pumping loudly in my head.

_She never said it back..._

She tried to stand up, but I wouldn't let her. I used all of my strength to keep her down and my salty tears began to sting in my eyes.

The hot, salted tears trickled down my face, burning every cell they covered.

“Let me go!” She jerked under my grip. “Just let me go and leave me alone! It seems like only _now_ you’re telling me you love me because you regret kissing Priya and want me to crawl on my fucking knees back to you!” She shouted. “And you and Lottie _won’t_ **_ever_** be a fucking great couple when you two couple up! Admit it, Bobby! You just said you fancied her to make me jealous and it’s fucking working!”

“You’re joking, right? I just said that I fucking love you and now you think that I don’t?! I more than love you. I _adore_ you, babe!” I shouted back.

“Shut up! Just shut the fuck up, Bobby!” She screamed. “Just go! Be with Lottie or Priya or whoever the fuck- _I don’t really **care**_ \- and leave me alone!”

 _“Is the message not getting across to you?_ I said I’m in love with you and you can’t seem to accept that!”

She ignored my words and continued digging into my heart, ripping it to pieces.

“You won’t need to choose between Lottie and I because clearly you care more about her than you care about me. You care about her enough to spend all of your fucking time with her! And what about Priya too, huh? I know you enjoyed kissing her!” She spat.

_Uh…_

_What?!_

“You think I... enjoyed the kiss?”

“You bet your ass I do!” She shouted as she used her strength to push me away from her.

I stumbled a few steps behind me and my back pressed against the bricked wall.

I opened my mouth to speak but she cut me off.

“Fuck you. I can’t believe you would do something like that! I- I- _I hate you!_ I hate you so fucking much right now! You broke my heart!” were the words that completely obliterated me.

A single tear fell down my cheek. My body looked calm compared to how tangled my mind was. I tried my hardest to keep my emotions bottled up, but what she said had me devastated.

My body slid down the cold bricks onto the floor and I curled myself up into a ball as she clicked her heels loudly away from me, slamming the door on her departure.

Tears spilt over and flowed down my face like a river escaping a dam. My heart had been ripped out of my chest and thrown off the balcony, into the depths of the void.

I was left heartless. I didn’t even know what to do the moment I plunged into the middle of an ocean, far away from all of my sadness and despair.

The sound of water crashing against my skin calmed me as I floated near a secluded island, wishing I could just stay there forever. Alone.

My subconscious mind had created a whole new world for me, full of joy and happiness, and I never wanted to leave.

As I swam onto the shore, the sea breeze brushed against my skin, prickling goosebumps on my arms.

The warm sand calmly floated along the ground as I walked along up to an abandoned hut. I opened the creaky door and stepped inside, but as I did I heard the sound of another invisible door open.

“Bobby. Mate, are you alright?” A voice asked, snapping me back into my misery.

I opened my eyes slowly as they adjusted to the light. I looked down and my shirt was soaked with my own tears. My knees were pulled up to my chest by my arms as Noah wrapped his arm around me.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m alright,” I said while wiping the disgusting tears away from underneath my eyes and on my cheeks.

“Are you sure? You seemed to be-”

“I said I’m fucking _fine_!” I hissed and shot him a glare.

He got up and backed away from me slowly, shutting the door quietly as he left.

I decided to spend the next hour curled back up in a ball, trying to think of what I said or did to hurt Veronica as much as I did. But I found it almost impossible.

That was until I realised, I should have squeezed her hand three times instead...

The devil herself appeared in the doorway, looking calm, and my stomach dropped through the floor.

In my last relationship with her, when she would get angry to the point of complete rage, she would become calm. And that was her exact mood in that exact moment.

“We need to talk.” She said, her tone serious.

_Again?_

She sat on the bench opposite me and folded her arms. Her brows furrowed into a slight frown as I looked up at her.

“Okay, let’s _talk_ then,” I muttered.

“So. I’m just after finding out that you _did_ , in fact, kiss Priya earlier **_today_ **. During this party! Are you fucking insane?!”

_Yes,_

_I am insane._

“-ly in love with you?” I attempted to make a joke, but it fell flat which killed me inside even more.

“Quit it with the jokes, _Robert_ ,” she spat.

She never called me by my full name, which worried me.

A lot.

“What did I even do?” I exclaimed in a frustrated tone.

“You… y-you told me you loved me…”

“And that’s a problem?” I shouted. “You know what? That’s it. If you can’t accept my love for you I’m afraid we can’t be together. We’re _done_!” I shouted in a fit of rage, not caring about what I had said or the consequences I’d have to face.

“Done?”

“You don’t care about my feelings! And that makes me so fucking angry!” I hissed.

“So you think it’s best if we call it a day?” She asked, _sadly_.

 _Why the fuck is_ **_she_ ** _sad?_

_She literally ripped my heart to shreds an hour ago!_

I stormed out of the room without another word and the quiet gasp I heard let me know everyone was standing nearby with listening ears, eavesdropping.

Well, Veronica and I _were_ screaming at each other, so maybe it doesn’t count as eavesdropping

“What the fuck are you looking at?!” I hissed.

They parted like the sea, letting me barge through them as I ran towards the bathroom. I leaned over the counter and stared at myself in the mirror for what seemed like an eternity. Who was the man in that mirror? I certainly did not know him.

My phone dinged loudly, the sound ringing through my ears as I pressed the home button.

“I got a text!” I shouted as loud as I could, but no one came into the bathroom.

I left the room and sprinted towards the roof terrace to find no one there but a sobbing noise coming from behind the closed door.

Jake’s soothing voice caused me to melt into my state of rage again. The thought of; _Why was he comforting_ **_my_ ** _girl? She’s **mine** , **not** his _raced through my mind over and over as I knocked lightly on the door.

“I’ll get it, you stay there.”

The handle twisted from the other side and Jake stood there with a calm, but worried look written all over his face like a school desk in primary school.

“Veronica’s um… something’s really upset her…”

_Yeah, I did_

“I think it’ll be best to give her space,” I said.

_Yeah and stay the fuck away from my girlfriend!_

Jake popped his head back into the terrace and said something quietly to Veronica that I couldn’t hear.

“Who’s at the door?” She sniffled, probably wiping away her tears.

 _At least_ **_I_ ** _kept it together._

_Kind of..._

“It’s Bobby.”

Jake opened the door fully and the state I saw her in shattered the fragments of my heart to dust. She had curled herself into a ball just as I had done prior to Jake’s arrival.

“No. I don’t wanna talk to him.”

“Lass, please? If we talk we can sort out what’s been bothering both of us.”

“Fuck off! You fucking… you kissed Priya behind my back and didn’t even admit to it!” She screamed, causing both Jake and I to get the fright of our lives.

_I better just leave her, for now_

_Or_ **_forever_ **

_Should I walk?_

_I might walk so the villa would be a better place_

_And also no one will care!_

**_I’ve failed the test..._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Bobby ever bounce back from what he has done?
> 
> Will he ever win Veronica’s heart over before it’s _too late_?


	11. Talking Things Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby tries talking things out with Veronica

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so sorry for the long wait!! I promise I’ll get back on track soon ❤️

Tiny stars twinkled in the night’s sky, watching as they created bright constellations in my mind like little clusters of thoughts, drilling deep within me.

I had come to the conclusion that I had completely and utterly fucked up my chances with Veronica, the girl I loved the _most_.

That argument we had… it ruined me. Completely. _Team Troublemakers? What was I even thinking?!_

Before I even knew it, a fight had broken out downstairs. I immediately jolted up from my little spot on the ground by the wall and flung the door open to find the shouting getting louder.

“If you want him, you can fucking have him!” I heard what sounded like Veronica screaming from down the halls, to presumably either Lottie or Priya.

 _-I hear you. I know you love me-_ but she never said it back to me...

———————

_—I hate you! I hate you so fucking much right now! You broke my heart._

Still left heartless, I managed to pull myself together. My mind raced, thinking about Noah coming to check on me, the kiss with Priya, Priya telling Veronica that I liked Lottie. And then, Veronica’s reaction to it all.

Speaking of Veronica, my eyes fell on her from across the hall. She had her back turned to me and was shouting down the stairs at someone, more than likely it was Priya.

I backed away slowly and ran to the quiet, empty bedroom, flinging myself down onto my bed. I buried my face in the pillows and lay face down, thinking about how much Veronica hates me.

Listening to the loud screams coming from the argument rumbling downstairs _calmed_ me, surprisingly. It was what I was used to, and what I would call normal.

I closed my now heavy eyes and was falling into a deep sleep until the door burst open. “Bobby, mate. D’you know what’s happening downstairs?”

_Should I tell him?_

“Oh, hey Gaz. Aye no, I don’t know what’s going on,” I lied, hoping he wouldn’t press any further. But I was wrong.

“I know there’s something you’re not telling me.”

I decided on telling him since it would get out to everyone anyways and I would have rathered him hear it from me instead of someone else.

“Mate, promise not to tell anyone,” I begged, hoping he wouldn’t let this slip to anyone. Even though Priya had probably told everyone by then.

“I won’t, promise.”

And then I told him _everything,_ about Priya, about the kiss, about the argument, about screaming to Veronica that I loved her when I didn’t really mean it. He already knew about Veronica and I’s past relationship from when I told him over tea in the coffee shop so I never spoke of it again.

“You... kissed Priya?” He asked, eyes wide and full of confusion.

I bowed my head, wanting to curl up into a ball and never speak to anyone again, before nodding slowly, guiltily.

“Oh, mate,” he whispered to no one in particular, rubbing the palms of his hands and fingers over his shaken face.

“I know,” I mumbled, not wanting to look at him, the guilt hanging over me like an emotional storm in the sky.

He clapped my back hard twice before standing up, turning around to face me again. “I’ll talk to Veronica, see how she’s feeling… and then like, once she’s calmed down you can talk to her? Maybe?”

And with that he left the room.

———————

I crept back up the stairs and shuffled onto the terrace, the quietness deafening me. Veronica was lying asleep on the cold ground with nothing beneath her, shivering in her sleep. She rolled onto her side and her eyes began fluttering, alerting me.

_Shit, what do I do?_

I took two steps forward and knelt down next to her, sliding my arm underneath her limp but stiff body. Pulling her up into my arms was a challenge but I still ended up holding her as close as I could to me, and I never wanted to let go.

I knew she said she hated me, but a part of me knew she still liked me.

Her eyes fluttered open and a smile spread across her lips before immediately falling. She ripped my hands off her body and pushed me away.

“What the fuck, mate?”

Mate.

Her expression darkened into a frown as she got to her feet but I grabbed her wrist tightly as she went to leave. She flinched but didn’t try to break free.

I pulled her closer to me and immediately wrapped her up in a hug, her head leant against my chest. “I’m really sorry baby, I shouldn’t have done what I did,” I muttered into her hair knowing damn well… I wasn’t sorry.

The kiss with Priya reminded me that being tied down by just one girl or woman is so much more boring than I used to think it was. Kissing her was the release I needed to tell myself, I don’t need to be with only _one_ girl to be happy.

I trailed a line of kisses up from the base of her neck to her cheek, stopping to boop her nose with mine. She cupped my face with her cold, delicate hands and upturned the corners of her lips into a smile. Subconsciously my heart began to flutter, but I stopped it. Stopped it just before she noticed. Why, you may ask? I honestly _couldn’t_ tell you.

I didn’t even know why I did it, but it had been done and I couldn’t take it back.

“I…” she trailed off, knowing herself there was no point in holding a grudge against him, or as you and other people (but not me) would call it; manipulation. Manipulation over her feelings, but _I_ don’t see it that way.

I know I was trying to essentially “fix” my relationship with her but I was just so used to being the one who never had to apologise for anything I did. The one who wouldn't get into trouble.

All thoughts about leaving the villa had vanished from my mind as were replaced with thoughts like… _why is she still here? Why is she not scared?_

A blanket folded neatly on the bench caught my eye and I had wondered about how it had gotten there… I leaned back and twisted my body while reaching over to grab it.

I opened it up and wrapped it around the both of us, holding her as close to me as I could. A smile crawled onto her cheeks as she turned around to look at me. For a second I had almost forgotten how beautiful a woman she was, and I felt this sudden rush of _something_ rumble through my stomach and up to my chest. I know I said _it_ a while ago, but I _didn’t feel it yet._

I didn't want to mention her argument with Priya, so I began asking about Gary.

“Did Gary talk to you?” I asked, brushing my fingers through the hair at her temple, my fingertips grazing the faded ink on her skin.

“He did. He said that I have to understand that you have no idea what you’re doing. He said you’re a fool for kissing Priya over me…”

“I know sweetheart, I know I’m such an idiot for even thinking of doing that. And I’m s-s-” I began to say, but she pressed her finger to my lips to stop me.

“It’s okay hun, I know you can’t say the word. But I get you. I do. I know you're sorry. I know I might be boring, and not as fun as her, but I still have feelings… and they were hurt.”

 _Her feelings_ **_were_ ** _hurt._

_I hurt her…_

———————

I swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat as I came to another conclusion. My mind wandered through a library of thoughts clouding my mind, thinking about whether or not she could sense me falling. Falling for the moments we shared together, even the bad ones...

Falling for the times I could call ‘happy times...’

Falling for _her_...

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> I hope you liked this as much as I did writing it!
> 
> Also shoutout to the lovely people who helped me ❤️❤️❤️


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